As I typed the above title, I realized that it contains two meanings. The topic of this post was initially about how I'm trying to find interesting stuff to write about in this blog (i.e., "content") at a time when I'm busier than a one-legged tap dancer in a butt kickin' contest (hey, I live in the South...gotta use those awesome colloquialisms occasionally in order to keep my street cred!). I typed that title and realized that it also speaks to finding happiness (i.e., "content") in the midst of a busy and sometimes complicated life. Woah, dude. That's kinda, you know, like, deep. Yeah, okay, I'm in a silly mood this morning. :)
I've been a Very Busy Person (TM) since June of 2010, when I enrolled in Full Sail University's online Music Business Bachelor of Science Degree Program. I was a busy person before, but now I am truly a very busy person. It makes finding time for personal creativity and decompression extremely difficult. The best metaphor that I can think of for how I've felt most of this past year, is that of being underwater; I'm coming up for air occasionally, but not nearly enough for physical comfort.
Here's one of the reasons why I am so busy: I spend a great deal of time studying...I agonize over every quiz, every essay, every assignment, as I am constantly second guessing myself. "Was I thorough enough? Did I dot all of the 'i's and cross all of the 't's? Is the content original enough? What about the APA formatting....did I make any mistakes? Was I sloppy? Is this my best work?" This obsession is the result of having been a very average high school student. To be honest, I didn't really study. I was disorganized, undisciplined and easily distracted. I procrastinated like crazy. I had innate talent in English and could sound articulate, but I didn't work at it. In short, I winged it, and this was reflected in my grades. I didn't think I was "college material" at the time, so I didn't worry too much about the grades. Consequently, I was truly mortified when, at age 43, I ordered a copy of my high school transcript and took another look at my not-so-stellar GPA: 2.63. Dead average. I decided that if I was going to commit to spending this money (I despise debt, so student loans are very frightening for me) and to spending copious amounts of time, I was going to do it as well as I possibly could. The result has been 10 classes in a row with a final grade of A+. For the first time in my life, I am boasting a GPA of 4.0...it feels great! It also puts me under pressure to keep it going.
I am officially working harder than I ever worked before in my life. Which brings me back to finding content for this new blog and learning to be content in my busy life. From morning until often late into the night, I am going non-stop. I'm either working, studying, cooking, cleaning, shuttling kids, communicating with the people I care about, or trying to make sure I don't drop any of the knives that I'm juggling. I haven't had time for exercise, (my own) music and creative outlets, or rest. Especially today, as I finish a very challenging Marketing assignment and prepare to drive 90 minutes away to witness my second oldest stepson wed his lady love this evening. Balance is hard to achieve when you aren't even sure which direction is up, but somehow today, I've managed to find some content (for this blog) and maybe even a little content (for my life). At this particular moment on this particular day, I think that's enough.
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